tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86627218587171289992011-11-27T19:50:37.997-05:00I am a stand up comedian, currently living in Boston. <br><br>I shed a tear, twice a day, every day, at 9:11.<br><br> This is my comedy journal.<br><br><a href="http://justinpdrew.tumblr.com/">I have a new blog on Tumblr!</a><br><br> <img src="http://www.comedysoapbox.com/img/comedians/8256.jpg">Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.comBlogger731100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-8113480381499475952010-12-11T14:15:00.002-05:002010-12-11T14:22:15.332-05:00

I have switched everything over to my brand new super pretentious Tumblr blog.It's shinier and sexier. It's also where I'll be updating from now on. Go there and watch me... Tumble?

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-7981277390625373042010-08-24T16:57:00.004-04:002010-08-24T17:20:08.721-04:00

My buddy Jay Grove has collected a few of the young, new comedians in the New England scene and is bring them to Mulligan's Irish Pub in Barre, Vermont! If you hate my stuff but are still interested in going, you also have the following comedians to look forward to: Jeffrey Paul doesn't have any videos, but he's usually a closer at Punchlines at Penuches in Concord on Monday nights. He proves

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-78409262790613194292010-08-13T17:08:00.002-04:002010-08-13T17:16:33.637-04:00

Yeah, I haven't been around. I've been working 40+ hours a week trying to stay a resident of Boston and keeping up a 3-4 performances (to 5 and sometimes 6) a week stand up schedule. Let me tell you right now: there's gonna be less stand up for me this fall. Not none, but certainly not at the level I'm doing it now. I need to move into a new apartment, get a new car, invest in a new computer,

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-47902524496154548812010-07-24T13:40:00.003-04:002010-07-24T13:55:36.559-04:00

This is my hilarious buddy Joey O'Neill. Watch this video then find him on Facebook and his blog.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-33028864819299667722010-07-19T15:39:00.005-04:002010-07-19T16:20:59.691-04:00

I haven't posted in awhile, because working full-time is killing my soul.But, if you (or any one of the twenty people that Google tells me actually reads my blog) need your Justin P. Drew fix real bad, I am booked at various venues in three states this summer.Here is a handy tool I use to make sure I remember:Upcoming Showsget this portable calendar at comedysoapbox.comHere's some info about each

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-63875137714913410152010-07-05T13:27:00.004-04:002010-07-05T13:48:18.460-04:00

My friend Sonia Oram is unlike most other female comedians. Whereas some women feel they need to increase the "nasty" factor, especially by telling more racy sex stories than their male counterparts, Sonia knows the value of staying cute and bubbly. Sure, her set is deeply-rooted in PG-13 territory, but she pulls it off with this adorable innocence that is really quite spectacular. She should

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-77902513400723739222010-07-04T19:07:00.004-04:002010-07-04T19:25:26.158-04:00

For the last three decades, there have been two forces in music circling each other like heavenly bodies: Tom Waits, and hip-hop. Like an asteroid strike, the thought of the two coming together in a blinding explosion eclipsing all other types, forms, genres and varieties of music was possible, but not entirely likely. At least, not while you and your children are alive.Finally, Los Angeles DJ

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-44854387477918084452010-06-28T11:20:00.000-04:002010-06-28T11:20:00.220-04:00

This video was shot with Self's lead singer Matt Mahaffey both walking and singing backwards, and then reversed to make it look like he was walking and singing normal. Crazy ass shit ensues. Here is Self's woefully un-recently-updated website.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-34020180276312586352010-06-24T16:26:00.002-04:002010-06-24T16:27:11.889-04:00

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-43634390036965966122010-06-21T23:51:00.005-04:002010-06-23T19:01:19.093-04:00

Instead of making this an all-week thing (I'm lazy!), I'm going to highlight five more comedians right here that you should check out.Dan CumminsOf all the Comedy Central Presents specials that have ever aired, my brother recently decided that Dan Cummins' episode from a couple years ago is his favorite. And that's good enough for me. His humor is very off-the-wall and just a touch sadistic, and

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-33552878945233974962010-06-21T20:10:00.005-04:002010-06-21T20:52:01.042-04:00

All this week (if I'm not a lazy sunavabitch), I'm going to be highlighting comedians that aren't in the mainstream but are better than most of the shit you'll find in the mainstream.Here is Dylan Moran. You might know him from Shaun of the Dead and Run Fatboy Run. Those roles were both way beneath him, as you're about to see.Here is Dylan Moran talking about women. I love Dylan's style. He

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-3250066981911717902010-06-19T10:46:00.001-04:002010-06-20T13:30:13.335-04:00

I'm taking a mental break from comedy for a couple weeks. Here is my current schedule for the rest of the summer:Upcoming Showsget this portable calendar at comedysoapbox.comIn my stead, enjoy these fabulous GIFs:

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-25198556132421085962010-06-19T01:05:00.001-04:002010-06-19T01:06:42.289-04:00

I would wear it every day, I promise!

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-8563934656812632092010-06-18T12:15:00.001-04:002010-06-18T12:15:01.095-04:00

As I previously mentioned, my car is fucked in the ass. But luckily, fellow Boston comedians Sonia Oram and Tyrone Jones were there to document the experience. Ladies and gentlemen, I present Sonia Oram's Stranded.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-92099097385834263612010-06-17T12:04:00.007-04:002010-06-17T13:45:14.120-04:00

So yesterday I wrote a blog about whether or not I (and other comedians with my level of experience) should audition for Last Comic Standing next year.Well, I can tell you, the answer is a resounding NO.A hell no.A fuck naw, you straight buggin' if you thinkin' of doin' that shit even.I posted on the Comedy Studio Kvetch Message Board and many comics weighed in negatively about the show.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-64051453840229078322010-06-16T00:38:00.007-04:002010-06-16T11:00:44.235-04:00

A lot of comedians I know are buzzing about this year of Last Comic Standing. It's gone under a complete makeover, with legitimate judges, the best host they've ever had (Craig Robinson!) and a retooling of the show's format. Now, if this season is successful enough, that almost guarantees that the show will come back in a similar fashion next year. Which brings me to my question: Should I (or

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-2659283370195357462010-06-15T14:08:00.004-04:002010-06-16T12:34:26.571-04:00

Last night, on the way to my ill-fated gig at Penuche's in Concord, my car broke down. And now it might be toast, as in permanently. I won't be making it to Manchester this Wednesday, and it'll be by the skin of my crooked teeth if I make it to Auburn this Friday.I started to feel bad for myself, but then I saw a video that cheered me up. It was Zach Anner's audition tape for some Oprah contest,

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-44395814721917519352010-06-14T13:39:00.000-04:002010-06-14T13:39:00.811-04:00

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-60125785782803080832010-06-13T14:36:00.001-04:002010-06-18T23:37:59.942-04:00

Hey guys! This week is gonna be crazy! I'm gonna break down all five of the places I'm performing this week in this blog post.Upcoming Showsget this portable calendar at comedysoapbox.comFirst, I want to let you know I'm going to watch a show at The ImprovBoston tonight, and if you show up there at 6:30, you can buy tickets to see improv group Friends of Gertrude and stand up comedian Matt Kona,

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-60871370317716642452010-06-12T11:09:00.001-04:002010-06-12T11:11:07.565-04:00

Thanks to Mighty Mike McGee for showing me this.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-69110935597867004942010-06-11T16:26:00.002-04:002010-06-11T16:29:44.294-04:00

This new song by Jon La-jwa isn't so much funny as it is just plain accurate. (It's also pretty funny.)

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-21607317121125694042010-06-09T14:11:00.001-04:002010-06-09T14:13:04.262-04:00

No joke: Lupe Fiasco is my dad's favorite rapper by a wide margin. So let's here it for Lupe!

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-4142466834554856932010-06-07T11:04:00.001-04:002010-06-07T11:04:00.334-04:00

Back when I did Stay Classy Comedy videos routinely I did a sequel to our then-second most popular video, Kidfight! Basically, two kids (Oliver and Owen) begin to play a game that goes wildly out of hand, accompanied by our brother Joebears and a bevy of over-the-top sound effects. And in the 2 1/2 years since that video debuted, it's received more comments than any of our other videos, and is

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-66921410315007294702010-06-06T11:09:00.004-04:002010-06-06T11:24:14.759-04:00

For some reason, they don't have an official website anymore, but Black20 still makes some of the funniest and best-produced videos on the internet. Here are a couple that I find hysterical.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-54226999926695875612010-06-05T21:07:00.003-04:002010-06-05T21:11:14.915-04:00

Justin P. Drew on Peaks Island 6-4-2010 - watch more funny videos I made my first $20 from a stand up comedy gig last night. It feels pretty great. Twenty dollars for ten minutes of my time. Technically, that's $120 an hour. Pretty freaking cool. Hopefully it's the first of many twenty dollar bills.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-90237258404796572062010-06-04T10:19:00.005-04:002010-06-04T11:01:07.454-04:00

I've been getting myself booked and booked and booked for this summer. It's the summer of pudgy weird guy comedy. For you (but mostly for me) I am going to highlight the little box to the left of this blog and tell you all the places I am (currently) performing this summer. Keep checking back to that little box because whenever I get a new show, I plan on updating it. Also I whore myself out a

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-33017555124224323222010-06-03T13:16:00.004-04:002010-06-03T13:41:38.554-04:00

This is a paradox to me: the trailer for "The Other Guys," a movie starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. It's from the same creative team behind Anchorman, Talladega Nights, and one of my favorite movies ever, Step Brothers. It also features Michael Keaton, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Eva Mendes and Samuel L. FREAKING Jackson is supporting roles. So why, when I ask my close friends and family

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-17734415027983338262010-06-02T11:04:00.002-04:002010-06-02T11:04:00.322-04:00

Ugly AmericansWeds 10:30pm / 9:30cRandall's New Bodywww.comedycentral.comFuturama New EpisodesFunny Demon Zombie TV ShowFunny TV Comedy BlogUgly Americans is Comedy Central's latest original cartoon. Its premise is interesting: in an alternate version of New York, every fantasy and horror genre-related creature is an immigrant. It's like they put every movie and novel ever into a blender with New

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-6085470166047402382010-06-01T20:53:00.003-04:002010-06-01T20:59:20.007-04:00

"In the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt."I'm glad I found this quote by Bertrand Russell and this Wikipedia article on the Dunning-Kruger Effect. As someone who struggles with confidence and self-security, it helps to know that scientifically, I'm doing better than I think I am.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-4888757284936627702010-05-29T11:22:00.007-04:002010-06-06T12:13:08.986-04:00

This coming week is going to be pretty freaking busy for me, show-wise. Then I'm thinking of taking a couple weeks off from performing while I get settled in to my swanky new Brighton apartment. Here is a run-down of this week's shows:Sunday, May 30th - ImprovBoston 7pmMy brother Matt and I will be doing five minutes apiece at The ImprovBoston. Here is the Facebook event page, tickets are $5 at

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-3772719859091628002010-05-28T00:41:00.004-04:002010-05-29T13:04:01.496-04:00

I was interviewed by a very prominent local reporter. Here is the interview.When were you born?April 1st, 1988.What is your favorite movie?I have a ton of favorite movies. Among that list are Garden State, The Incredibles, Big Fish, Coraline, Casablanca, Die Hard, Superbad, Stagecoach.How old were you when you finally started being independent from your parents?I didn't really feel independent at

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-6162405218625075532010-05-23T12:53:00.002-04:002010-05-23T13:01:06.589-04:00

Yeah, I know, I haven't been around. Between work and comedy gigs and trying to move from Sanford, Maine to Boston, Massachusetts, I haven't had a lot of blog time. This is just an update to let you know that I'm alive and to show you my second round performance from the Portland's Funniest Professional competition. I didn't advance, but I got a few good laughs and that's more than I could ask

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-18785022629919227702010-05-12T10:43:00.008-04:002010-05-12T12:51:55.564-04:00

This is a (semi-, or when I feel like it) weekly feature I'm trying out on my blog. I pick several movie trailers making the rounds and review them, based on presentation, my prior knowledge of the production and/or source material, and my pre-existing prejudices against the actors/filmmakers. I am a movie nerd after all. This is TRAILER (or) TRASH?#1: Twilight: EclipseNow, I tried reading the

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-39720102445141515042010-05-08T02:35:00.005-04:002010-05-08T03:18:48.906-04:00

Yeah, I know, I haven't been posting so much, imaginary person in my mind who gives a shit about my blog. I promise you there will be more bloggage very soon. More Trailer (or) Trash?, more People That Inspire Me, and at least one more Stay Classy video in the near future.But right now I want you to acknowledge that Community is the best comedy on TV. Yeah, sure, Glee is awesome, I'll give you

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-60451415677410495942010-05-04T11:02:00.002-04:002010-05-04T11:09:38.207-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.See more Stay Classy Comedy here.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-4484457008046976392010-05-03T13:57:00.002-04:002010-05-03T14:19:23.608-04:00

And it's actually pretty good!Russell Brand can sing! Can't wait to see Get Him To The Greek. Kudos to Segel and company.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-28947978088085734832010-05-03T13:09:00.002-04:002010-05-03T13:28:07.190-04:00

(Explanation.)

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-91045473697069919562010-04-30T11:32:00.004-04:002010-04-30T12:16:48.133-04:00

Patton Oswalt just wrote a blog post about how he was joke-thieved by a man named Nick Madson.In the blog, he posts several videos of Madson's performance (in front of what sounds like a tiny ass crowd) that features literally word-for-word Patton Oswalt bits, including a couple that I know by heart. And hearing them bastardized by this asshole is disheartening.Patton does note that this douche

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-15404703794646258382010-04-27T01:13:00.002-04:002010-04-27T01:19:46.060-04:00

That is all.Also, this.And as a bonus, this old chestnut!

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-15979598466710335142010-04-25T00:44:00.009-04:002010-05-12T12:07:05.275-04:00

This is a new weekly feature I'm trying out on my blog. I pick several movie trailers making the rounds and review them, based on presentation, my prior knowledge of the production and/or source material, and my pre-existing prejudices against the actors/filmmakers. I am a movie nerd after all. This is TRAILER (or) TRASH?#1: Scott Pilgrim Vs The WorldRight now, I have all the Scott Pilgrim

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-19442007485542998362010-04-24T14:31:00.005-04:002010-04-24T14:58:47.577-04:00

I love this Rhett & Link song, so so so much. And it isn't just the Maine references, those are hilarious, but the tune is oddly haunting. Just a very sweet hook. When I have more money I might buy their CD "Up To This Point."Here's them serenading a Taco Bell employee.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-54007155157283787162010-04-22T15:51:00.003-04:002010-04-22T16:13:51.874-04:00

Today, on Earth Day, Sun Chips has placed an interactive ad on YouTube that allows you to pledge to do something to help the environment. Some people are switching to hybrids, some are recycling or cleaning up parks, planting trees, all sorts of things. Here is an example of one person's pledge:Oh, Hannah B. from Michigan, good for you. Changing to a completely renewable form of energy, I'm proud

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-34483576488480557772010-04-22T13:13:00.002-04:002010-04-22T13:14:24.830-04:00

You helped me stave off suicide for one more day.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-2761237409245787092010-04-20T10:55:00.007-04:002010-04-20T12:49:38.792-04:00

"Motherfucker, I'm awesome!/No you're not dude, don't lie!"The rapper named Spizzy Spose is really Ryan Peters from Wells, Maine. Last fall, he recorded the funny song "I'm Awesome" and stuck it on his and Cam Groves' mixtape, "We Smoked It All." And that shit took off.Local Maine rock station WCYY played it nonstop, which started a chain reaction that spread like wildfire across the country.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-11344429665769180952010-04-19T14:06:00.001-04:002010-04-19T14:07:34.155-04:00

OH MY GOD I AM DOING STAND UP IN THIS VIDEO.This performance sent me to the next round!

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-15720851258285265792010-04-19T13:49:00.002-04:002010-04-19T13:53:10.838-04:00

This is my brother Matthew Drew's band. This is the video for their first single.Get acquainted, I think you'll be seeing more of them.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-75999579173930496712010-04-18T11:24:00.008-04:002010-04-19T17:09:47.311-04:00

Patton Oswalt is my all-time favorite comedian. Here is just one reason why:Patton is a Grammy-nominated comedian who you probably knew about before from his role on King Of Queens, a decent CBS sitcom that launched the career of Kevin James. I believe Kevin James's shitty career is cosmic karmic balance for Patton's awesome one.I first heard about Patton from his stand up special No Reason To

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-78465623551639168912010-04-15T14:33:00.002-04:002010-04-15T14:37:53.975-04:00

I'm done with the emo shit. From now on, this blog is for comedy and cool shit.Expect lots and lots of swearing.Lots and lots of FUCKING swearing, and LOTS OF ALL CAPS. Let's get LOUD IN THIS BITCH, motherfudgers.Here is my first successful performance as a stand up comedian:Justin P. Drew: My Name Should Be PeggyJustin P. Drew | MySpace Video

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-33848060852031444792009-10-24T00:05:00.001-04:002009-10-24T00:05:46.135-04:00

Justini hope you realize how amazing you are, and that all those bitches that hate on you just be jealous11:52pmAshleyFor realz son?11:53pmJustinyeah! dey be bebopping and scottin around but tit ain't no thang11:53pmAshleyOh boo

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-68341494699400093272009-10-21T01:04:00.002-04:002010-04-19T17:06:17.873-04:00

 Chapter IPetey The HomoAn Introduction To The Sheer Ingenious of Fenton Niles Baby, you’re a wildcatAnd I am but an eskimo childBaby, you’re the sharp cheeseAnd I’m at best only mildWe’re complete oppositesLike “before” and “after” smilesBut if you be my one true love,My dick could go for miles.- Slanteyed,“Root Canal”             He sits, waiting for me. He has been sitting in this coffee shop

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-4323576385284119902009-10-17T04:35:00.002-04:002010-04-19T17:07:34.692-04:00

ForewordWho The Hell Is Fenton Niles?Fenton Niles: Heartbreak Avenger I would love to love youBut just for tonightI would love to hold youBut just for this one nightIf I held you, Darling,For more than this one night,I would probably beat the hell out of you. - Rho Jitters,“Just For This One Night”             Now, please, don’t judge me solely by what you just read in the prologue. That wouldn’t

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-63882864535650931832009-10-16T02:27:00.001-04:002009-10-16T02:28:47.261-04:00

Justinyou're opening, you know that, right?2:15amEvanyeah ik2:15amJustinokay, wow, you are gonna be tired bro2:15amEvanwhy? i stay up till 2 almost everyday2:15amJustinwhatever works dude2:15amEvanjust need a cup of coffee and im gtgyo i have stayed up til 3 beforei have had like 34 hr of sleep3-4*2:16amJustinshit dude2:16amEvanwhat?2:17amJustinthat's gotta suck2:17amEvanmehbut i have been

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-44386203311847036972009-10-14T01:24:00.003-04:002009-10-14T01:26:04.247-04:00

 Prologue:Tatiana             Tatiana bumped in to a man she’d known before. She knew him from way back in high school and he was crazy about her, but she broke his heart. We’ll get into the details later, the point is, sheknew this fact. She knew that she had broken his heart.            Now, the kid had been on the chubby side twelve years before, but now he was lean and handsome, wearing a

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-4649740631299750122009-09-15T13:04:00.001-04:002009-09-15T13:07:16.081-04:00

Anybody else would have had their publicist make a statement and issue a half-assed apology, but Kanye appeared on TV and showed genuine regret. I still love him.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-7676172632460661992009-09-04T01:56:00.001-04:002009-09-04T01:57:11.328-04:00

I took the summer off from posting here, but I think I'm ready to start being creative again. Expect more real soon, all you non-followers.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-85310803517606251792009-05-04T02:15:00.000-04:002009-05-04T02:16:11.536-04:00

As you know, I have the tendency to gush about my brother's music.It's because I genuinely, honestly, truly in my heart of hearts believe he's a decent songwriter and know he has the potential to be a downright great one in the future.So, keep that in mind when you listen to this EP/demo/monstrocity. These songs have been recorded over the past few months, and they showcase his raw talent. If you

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-81397538207196542552009-04-28T13:42:00.001-04:002009-04-28T13:42:27.852-04:00

This is interesting. Click here and pick five or six words that you think describe me. You can do it anonymously, so don't be afraid to be a total cunt about it.If you do it, start your own and let me know so I can pick a few words that describe you too.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-61484880278380021612009-04-27T00:59:00.001-04:002009-04-27T00:59:40.591-04:00

On AOL Entertainment News, I noticed this alarming article.Apparently John Mayer has a new girlfriend and she's way below his league, or PopEater really can't find a decent picture to show.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-82284415832172313542009-04-09T02:03:00.001-04:002009-04-09T02:06:31.059-04:00

This is a continuation of the The Pregnant Hooker story I started a couple days ago. It's pretty gritty.Oh yeah, COPYRIGHT FOREVER JUSTIN P. DREW.Mr. Hart“I never knew pregnant chicks could be so good.”             “Shut the fuck up and finish. You have five minutes left.”             He had been sneezing when he came in. Blowing his nose. She thought Oh great, I’m going to get sick on top of it

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-32372895363787247512009-04-08T22:57:00.003-04:002009-04-08T23:01:06.115-04:00

I recently purchased Stephen Dobyn's Cemetery Nights and there is one poem thus far that has just blown me away. It's called The Gardener. It's such a unique view of things. It's extremely inspiring.The Gardenerby Stephen DobynsAfter the first astronauts reached heaventhe only god discovered in residenceretired to a little brick cottagein the vicinity of Venus. He was notunduly surprised. He had

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-82059917881423484522009-04-07T03:15:00.000-04:002009-04-07T03:19:33.752-04:00

“WHAT DOES IT MEAN?” She is screaming at him. Through him. She’s pretty sure he isn’t real. “What does it mean???” She screams again. It doesn’t register. “What does it mean?” She screams a final third time, leans over and tugs on his dress, or robe, or whatever you call it. This tug finally registers. He looks down at her with his icy blue eyes. His pupils are wide, his skin is milk-white, and

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-10744827278777568912009-04-01T00:24:00.001-04:002009-04-01T00:24:55.021-04:00

Happy Birthday To Meby CrackerI was having a good sleepin my carIn the, parking lot of theShowboat Casino hotelI say, "I remember youyou drive like a PTA mother"You brought me draft beerin a plastic cupI'm feeling thankfulfor the small things, todayI'm feeling thankfulfor the small things, todayHappy, Happy Birthday to meHappy Birthday to meand to youHappy, Happy Birthday to meHappy Birthday to

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-84582757316075947132009-03-25T01:29:00.001-04:002009-03-25T01:42:38.465-04:00

HelenaCOPYRIGHT JUSTIN P. DREW 2009-THE END OF ETERNITY DO NOT STEAL THIS MOTHERFUCKER. Phil steps out of the cab. The driver looks to him and says “What, you’re not paying?”             Phil pauses, and thinks, He doesn’t have to pay. Let him go.             The driver thinks back, What am I, fucking insane? Make him pay extra.             Phil grunts. He turns and hands the man two twenty

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-57388706513186804012009-03-24T03:13:00.002-04:002009-03-24T03:16:20.358-04:00

"A ray of sunshine!""Sunshine? I LOVE Sunshine!" I reply."I know!" She says back. "Take this box too.""What's in this box?"She smiles. "Why, all-your-greatest-dreams-come-true!"I cry with laughter. "All-my-greatest-dreams-come-true?? How'd you know?""Lucky guess!" She says, smiling.This is my dreamgirl.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-53815139286470672602009-03-19T01:18:00.004-04:002009-03-19T01:39:53.051-04:00

Kanye was the first to say we were all self-conscious, and I'm going on record as the first to be saying we're all self-indulgent.Every single person who makes themselves a MySpace, Facebook, hosts a blog (or two (or three!)), Twitters, or whatever new form of mass-communication is on its way to inundating us, is self-indulgent. So don't act like this is some new development, don't write it off

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-38309864435790523662009-03-17T02:49:00.001-04:002009-03-17T02:51:34.835-04:00

COPYRIGHT JUSTIN P. DREW 2009-THE END OF ETERNITY DO NOT STEAL THIS MOTHERFUCKER.It’s just all too easy to forget for Phil. Once you learn more about him, you’ll see why this is surprising. He stands in his livingroom, staring at the wall. He wants to do something today but he can’t for the life of him remember the thing that had been bopping through his mind all morning. It had been bopping

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-4091429682501441252009-03-16T21:51:00.003-04:002009-03-16T22:14:00.693-04:00

He makes his brand of genius seem effortless. Could I be as talented or witty as Bo Burnham? If you watch any of Bo's stuff, you might think so. He has this awkward charm that allows him to deliver these fucked-up lyrics without that cruel sting of "but what he's SAYING is terrrrrrible!" He makes the idea of the owner of a rape whistle company wanting more rapes to happen so he can sell more rape

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-7707979262243892162009-03-16T01:38:00.003-04:002009-03-16T01:44:18.005-04:00

My schedule is killing me. I mean, it's truly just leaking the air out of me slowly, like a knick in a tire. Luckily I have two days off, and no school this week.I haven't told anybody this, but I've dropped two classes this semester. I'm beginning to realize how much of a workload I can handle. None of the classes I'm taking are remotely exciting or motivating.My job isn't awful, though the

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-5480953741447614672009-03-15T12:21:00.001-04:002009-03-15T12:26:52.230-04:00

I'm Going To Go Back There Somedayby Gonzo from The MuppetsThis looks familiarVaguely familiarAlmost unreal yetIt's too soon to feel yetClose to my soul and yet so far awayI'm going to go back there some day.Sunrises, nightfallsSometimes the sky callsIs that a song there?Then do I belong there?I've never been there but I know the wayI'm going to go back there some day.Come and go with meIt's more

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-3546288578778527282009-03-15T01:44:00.002-04:002009-03-15T01:46:09.436-04:00

1. Full time school + full time work is killing me.2. I have a solid idea for a book. More on that later (if I decide to be unlazy.)

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-50564041269475557512009-03-14T01:03:00.002-04:002009-03-14T01:08:08.558-04:00

The Devil In The Wishing Wellby Five For FightingI met Jane at the center of the earthIt was dark there was dirt all aroundBut I gather you can figure thatJane says I'm your body in the nightAnd I'll lead you where you might find yourselfBetter if you follow meSo go right you'll be left at a big hotelYou'll meet the devil at the bottom of a wishing wellYou know you better give him somethingGive

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-89384706060819998812009-03-13T00:03:00.001-04:002009-03-13T00:03:45.545-04:00

A couple nights ago, I taped myself performing two of my poems in front of Scotty and Matt. They went fairly well, I know what I'm good at and where I need to improve (one thing I do is a move called the Weeble Wobble, where I pivet from right foot to left to right to left to right and on and on forever. If you watch the video, make sure you've taken your epilepsy medication because the small

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8662721858717128999.post-13836110126665251282009-03-12T23:11:00.001-04:002009-03-12T23:12:41.122-04:00

Politics and I have a love-hate relationship. I lose interest in it for long periods of time. New format coming very soon.

Justin P Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02818332730708898478noreply@blogger.com0